The Food Fight Massacre of 2010
by SunflowerKolKolKol
Summary: When Prussia gets bored, everyone else suffers...
1. The Battle

**A/N: Yay! My _very first_ attempt at a fic :D! I don't think I did a very good job but... Oh, well :/... I tried. Anyways! This fic is what happens when I get bored at 4am when everyone at my house is asleep and there's nobody for me to annoy :3... I'm thinking of _maybe_ adding more chapters about what all of the countries do after this _event_ takes place. I already have a couple written, but I don't know if I'm going to post them or not :|... Anyways :D... Enjoy :3 (I hope :|...)!**

**Disclaimer- I do not own Hetalia... If I did, Prussia would be Canada's maid (outfit and all 8D), England and Denmark would have epic drinking contests, France would be wearing a tutu, and Sweden would be the main character :3...**

Prussia sits at one of the many tables, off to the side of the large room. _This sucks_, he thinks, _I haven't seen anything this lame since Austria tried to start a rock band! Way to go, China! You have officially succeeded in ruining my awesome day!_

Yao had decided to host this party because… _Wait… Why the hell _did_ China decide to throw this thing anyways…? Can't remember… Oh well. Maybe Japan finally hit puberty or some shit_, he muses to himself, not able to stop the small snicker that escapes him at the thought of Japan PMSing.

_Damn, this is boring as hell… Stupid West…_

When Germany had said "China is throwing a party for Japan, do you want to go?" his immediate response had been "HELL YES!", because parties mean two things to Prussia: Beer, and hot chicks.

Germany didn't tell him that it was going to be this _un_-awesome. There _was_ beer, but hot chicks? _Not a fucking one in sight… unless you count China and Japan, _he thinks, and has to struggle to keep the hysterical laughter in his chest where it belongs.

The boredom was killing him. There were _so many awesome things _he would rather be doing that sitting at this damned table, listening to all of the _un-awesome _nations talk about _very un-awesome _things!

_Screw it, I've got to do something to liven this so-called 'party' up before I go bat-shit insane! ... Speaking of bat-shit insane…_

He glances at Ivan, wondering how much alcohol it would take to get the terrifying country drunk. That would be kind of entertaining… But the idea is quickly discarded; getting Russia drunk could be dangerous. Besides that, he doesn't think there's enough alcohol in the building to accomplish such a feat considering the Russian's rumored high tolerance of alcohol.

_Who else? ..._

Prussia looks about the room, wondering which country would be the key to curing his boredom. China? No, he's probably expecting it if the warning looks he's shooting Prussia are any indication. Italy? Nah, anything he'd do to the poor kid would probably make him cry, which would very likely cause West to kick his ass.

Japan? _Too polite. _

Taiwan? _Too young. _

Lithuania? _Too twitchy. _

Poland? _Too… feminine. _

Switzerland? _I'd rather not have to go to the hospital to have a bullet removed from my ass…_

France? _Oh,__HELL no! _

Canada? _He'd cut off my supply of pancake and maple syrup… We _can't _have that, now, can we?_

Korea?_ He'd… Wait a minute…_

… Korea… The smile that appears on Gilbert's face can only be described as _mischievous. _Prussia has found his guinea pig. Now what to do, what to do? …

At this moment, he spots the bowl of mashed potatoes on the table next to him.

_Hmm… I could've sworn that wasn't there a second ago… How...Oh, well, who gives a fuck! This is perfect… _He thinks, the beginnings of a _very _awesome idea forming in his head.

Grabbing the bowl, he stealthily makes his way behind Im Yong Soo, who is preoccupied with trying to get the attention of a very annoyed China. Finally, coming to a stop behind and slightly to the left of Alfred, he grabs a heaping handful of the mushy contents from the bowl.

Then, taking a deep breath and hoping to all-that-was-awesome that his plan works, he tosses the thick substance at an unsuspecting Korea and-

_SPLAT!_

The gob of mashed potatoes hits Korea right in the back of the head. Im Yong Soo goes completely still and utters a small squeak as a stunned silence falls over the room.

Slowly, he reaches his hand to feel the back of his head in confusion and terror, expecting blood or brains to be coating his hand when he looks at it, but instead he gets…

_Mashed potatoes? …_

_Mashed potatoes? _

"Who threw this at me da-ze?" he almost-screams, and turns to face the direction of the recent assault to see…

_America!_

With a quiet "hmph!" he turns to China (who is holding a large plate of Shinatty-Chan-shaped cookies) grabs as many as he can, and hurls them at the (suddenly confused) American.

The American's chest is pelted with the adorable cookies, and he begins to get angry. "Why would you waste perfectly good junk food?" he says "Fear not, fallen cookies! Your sacrifice shall not be in vain! This hero shall avenge you!"

Alfred grabs a handful of chopped celery from a trey carried by an indifferent Hong Kong- "If you're going to waste snacks, then use…THIS KIND!" he yells, and throws them at the mashed potato-covered nation.

The small pieces of celery hit Korea, some of them sticking to the mashed potatoes that were thrown earlier, _but…_

One of the celery pieces bounces off his head and flies, seemingly in slow motion, towards none other than…

_Russia! _

Everyone holds their breath as the small vegetable piece gets closer and closer to the terrifying country… And then, at the last possible moment, he grabs a startled Lithuania and uses him as a human shield.

_BOINK!_

The celery hits Toris on the very center of his forehead.

"Russia, you jerk! Like, what did Lithuania ever do to you? You are so going to, like, pay for that!" says a very angry Poland, who grabs a handful of ice from a nearby cooler and chucks it in the general direction of Ivan.

Of course, as per rule 5,972 of food fight physics, all of the ice cubes miss, and everyone behind Russia gets bombarded with the hard chunks of frozen water, including Latvia…

A very stressed out, on-edge, recently-put-on-a-certain-anti-anxiety-medication-that-gives-some-people-very-bad-anger-issues Latvia…

_Now they all shall feel the terrible wrath of Ravis! _Eyes glowing red, he joins the "war" with _way_ too much enthusiasm…

By this point, almost every country at the party has joined… Except for Russia, who manages to find a safe place in the corner to stand beside China, who looks on in horror. "Such immaturity-aru!" he says to a scary, smiling Russia. "But they seem to be having _so _much fun pelting each other with food! Especially Estonia with those sea urchins…" Russia replies with his best creeper grin.

"Well, it's childish-aru! Just who do they think has to clean this mess up?"

"Oh, my! It seems that Japan has taken off his shirt to keep it from getting dirty!"

"What-aru?"

He is unable to stop himself from looking, not being able to believe that the nation that he raised would do such a thing. He's just realized that Kiku's shirt is still on his back when he feels the Russian roughly pull the collar of his shirt forward, and the contents of his glass of vodka is poured down his chest, ice and all.

"AIYAH~!"

…

…

…

From his seat in the corner of the room, away from the "carnage", Prussia is unable to hold in his laughter.

"_KESESESESES~!"_

The sight of all of them covered in various foods and drinks is just too much for him. _Now _this_ is a party! _He thinks. He can pick out some voices easier than others:

"Eat hamburger, bushy brows!"

"Get that _thing_ away from me, you bloody git!"

"Hey! Look! I've finally found a use for England's _hideous _cooking!"

"Take that back, you wine-sipping perv!"

"Now I smell like a drunken Russian-aru!"

"Does _Jao _want me to get the ice cube out of his shirt?"

"Doitsu~! Save the PASTA~!"

"Let me feed you this cake, nii-san! You could pretend it's our wedding cake, and that we're practicing for the big day!"

"You jerk! Those were, like, my favorite shoes!"

"Food fights originated in Korea you kno- Hey! Who threw that?"

"Hide under my hat, Hanatamago! You don't want to get your fur all dirty and-OUCH!"

"Who threw th't ap'l' 't m' wife?"

"EAT MAPLE, YOU BASTARDS!"

At the sight of Canada standing on one of the many ornate tables, dousing everyone in maple syrup, Prussia's laughter turns into hyperventilation.

That is, until a very angry China walks up to him with a murderous glare…

"I hope you know that _you _will be the one cleaning this up-aru."

"Like some shit I will, you sonofa-"

Suddenly, the front of his shirt is grabbed and he is roughly jerked to his feet.

"You-_you- _have ruined the party that _I_ spent _months_ planning for Japan's birthday-aru! You _will_ clean this mess up… Or do I have to tell Germany _just who threw the first handful of mashed potatoes-aru?_"

…

…

…

**The End (maybe :/...)**

**And I fix it :D! Now it's not in bold letters! Yay!**


	2. Lithuania's Allergy

**A/N: Okay O_O... This is very short, I know. But I couldn't think of anything else to add O_o... Also o.o... Sorry if the bold letters in chapter 1 got on anyone's nerves X_X... I didn't realize it was like that... Anyone know any way to fix it O_O?**

_Oh no… _thinks Toris as they are leaving the party. _Why do things like this always happen to me? Am I cursed? _Tears begin to form in the corners of his eyes… He wipes them away as he gets into the pink limo. _Well, maybe it's good that I'm going to Poland's house for the night instead of going home... He'll probably know how to hide this ugly thing until it's gone... Oh, this is so terrible!_

The rash on his forehead will take weeks to go away… He keeps scratching, even though he knows he shouldn't… Because… Apparently, Lithuania is allergic to celery.


	3. Poland's 6 Inch Heels

**A/N: Yay! This one's a little longer, because Poland talks a lot :D! Go Poland XD! I had a little (a lot) of help on this one from an awesome friend of mine, because I was having some trouble with my brain :|... So thank you awesome friend (who won't post their awesome fics no matter how much I pressure them to -_-...) :D! Also, thank you Hokuto Uchiha for telling me how to fix the bold letter thing XP. I would have never figured it out :/... Anyways, I hope you enjoy~!**

As soon as Lithuania gets into the (pink!) limo (which has an _very _cute, leopard-print, _pink _interior, if you ask Poland), Feliks starts talking 100 mph.

"Okay, like, tell your brother that he'd better get a job 'cause he is _so _totally paying for these shoes! Like, seriously, Liet! I mean, look at this!"

Poland holds up a (_very _fashionable) pair of (pink!) 6 inch heels (with _very _fashionable black lace on the sides, because that's so totally what makes them match that _absolutely gorgeous _purse).

Do you, like, have any idea how hard it is to get pasta sauce out of lace? These shoes were like, 300 fucking dollars! And that guy, Canadia, or whatever his name was, with the syrup? I'm _so _gonna bitch-slap that bastard next time I see him! I don't care if I got this top on sale, that's not the point! The point is- _OH EHM GEE, LIET! LIKE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?"_

Toris has been scratching his forehead almost non-stop since the itching first started, and by this point, it looks pretty bad...

"Didn't you see what happened? When I was hit with that piece of celery? Well, you see... I guess I'm allergic to it... I think... Anyway, do you think you could help me cover it up until it's gone?"

"I _could _help you hide it, but then it totally wouldn't, like, go away as fast... So, like... If you want I could try to find something to, like, you know... Make it go away. I don't think I have anything at my place for allergies or whatever, but we could so totally Google it later."

Lithuania's face turns a little pink. Was Poland actually trying to be nice to him instead of ordering him around and being (a bastard!) his usual bossy self?

"Th-Thanks... You know, Poland... You're a really good friend."

Now it was Poland's turn to blush. "Like, don't you _dare _go all sentimental on me, Liet!"

He has to pause to wipe away the _tiny_ bit of moisture that has gathered at the corners of his eyes. "I swear! If I start crying, I'm so gonna kick your ass! Besides, you totally owe me for this one! If I, like, fix your face or whatever, then I _will_ get to give you a make-over! A _total _make-over!"

Lithuania sighs. _The torment just never ends does it?_


	4. Canada and Kumajiro

**A/N: Ah :D... I love angry Canada~! Still short but... Darn it! I didn't know what else to put in there :/... Anyways! I better stop writing this A/N thingy before it becomes longer than this chapter :D!**

**-shot-**

Canada is sitting on his bed, preparing to lie down and go to sleep for the night. But first, as he always does before bed time, he discusses the events of the day with Kumajiro, who is sitting on the floor, staring intently at Matthew.

"It was so much fun, Kumasaki! I've never been in a food fight before… I did kind of feel bad for wasting all that maple syrup but… It was worth it! I think people actually noticed me for once, Kirutama! I don't think I've ever been that loud before."

"Who?"

Canada sighs and gives the usual reply, "I'm Canada…" before lying on the bed and pulling the covers over himself. Kumajiro begins to climb into the bed too, but is roughly pushed to the floor by a certain Canadian who decided to put his newfound courage to use.

"No. You're sleeping on the floor tonight, you name-forgetting ball of fluff… In fact, you're sleeping there until you can remember my name!"

"…"

"You'd think that after being around me for so long, and asking that _same annoying question _so many times, you would remember!"

"…"

"And furthermore-"

"Who?"

"ARGH!"

The sound of an angry Canadian mercilessly beating a very confused polar bear can be heard for miles.


End file.
